I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
