I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
