Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
