youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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