oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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