I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
