Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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