Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
