onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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