singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
