I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I love you. Go after that dick
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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