in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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