Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
