When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
