quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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