I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
