Can i not drive my cunt home
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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