man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
