You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
