whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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