a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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