I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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