She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
