plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
