Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
