dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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