Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
