I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize