After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
