I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
