yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
