So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
