Where did you get a picture of my penis
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
