I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
pop tarts are not kleenex
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
