I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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