Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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