Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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