you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
from now on my penis is your penis
It's like God shit irony all over that family
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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