Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
