We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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