Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
