If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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