i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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