Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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