It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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