We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
