jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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