Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
