It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
