I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dear god my vagina.
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