so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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