Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
