who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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