I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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