discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
