Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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