that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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