mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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