Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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