once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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