The maid of honor just puked.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
