at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
