I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
