Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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